Hindi ka Chindi!!!

Hindi, bole to....apun ka language.

Bombay is a potpourri of cultures, melting and blending with each other. One gets to hear so many variations of Hindi here. Some are downright hilarious. People, here are some funny lines, from my personal experience.

I grew up in a Maharashtrian neighbourhood. Once when I was a kid (yeah that was once upon a time), I was holding a live coachroach with its antennae, looking for an unsuspecting victim and in came my neighbour (he was about my age) and exclaimed “Pallavi woh coachroach takun de nahi to chavega"....har har har har...coachroach forgotten, I was rolling on the floor with laughter.

The same guy, when asked why he didn’t come to play yesterday, said “Pappa ne bola ke abhyas kar nahi to pankhe pe ulta tangega”...LOL

Another neighbour from down South (yes, the ubiquitous Madrasi) was telling my mother that his wife has gone to native place in a drain....DRAIN??!!! My mom asked him ‘how can anyone go in a drain?’...Madrasi neighbour ‘but everyone goes in a drain!!!’....keep guessing guys....ROTFL"

Madrasi neighbour’s (Annachi’s) assistant comes home and asks mom for his blade....
Mom: We never borrowed your blade!!!
The assistant: Arre aunty, Annachi had sent you some idlis yesterday in our blade.
Mom: Oh!! you are asking for your PLATE...here take your plate...LOL

Annachi’s wife is asking my mom whether Ajji (grandmom) has any ‘Petis’
Mom (suspiciously): yes, she has some Petis (trunks), why??
Annachis’s wife: I have never seen her visiting Ajji, that’s why!!
Har har har har...he hehheehhheee…ha ha ha hahah ha ha ha...guys, if you haven’t guessed yet, she was asking about ‘Betis’ (daughters)...LOL

One of my Marathi friends to the Lemonade vendor...”ismein limbu barobar se pilna bhaiyya”...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

My latest neighbour, a 3 year old kid, while watching the rain from our window...”Pallavi maushi, paaus kaisa padtai dekh”...

Hindi, the unanimous language spoken in Bombay, sounds far from the actual dialect but don’t we just love it guys....bole to....

Tomorrow Never Comes.....

Every morning I am woken up from my deep slumber...kick kick, time to get up, you will get late for office. Five more minutes please...KICK, you had your five minutes, now get up or I will pour cold water on you.......shit, I am already late!!!

Now which day is it? Oh, only Tuesday...4 more days to go. Bang!! Who’s in the toilet, out you @&$*#, I am already late...

Okay, who has HIDDEN my towel, search search...ah! it has to be under this debris of freshly washed clothes...I am already late...

Have breakfast!! You must be kidding, where’s the time?? I am already late...

You are always late....why don’t you get up a little earlier??

SURE, TOMORROW I WILL....

The Mean Machine

Thrill!!! that's what we feel when we finally master the mean machine on two slim tyres. Zoooooming the neighbourhood, scaring auntijis out of your way...... shrieking kids running helter skelter. Ah! the power of speed.....wind rippling through your hair.....your hands spread out in the famous pose of Titanic (the movie).....and then comes the speed breaker......skreeeeeeeeeeeeech, too late.....you are already face down on the street in full view of the same auntijis and kids whom you had freaked out a moment ago....you pick up your mean machine and march towards home......mommmmmy!!!

Corporate Taporis

In one of the top Corporates of our country, there is a group of 6 Taporis (bhai log or rather behen log)…..they call themselves ‘Golden Gang’.

Moti - may her health increase
Armstrong - 200 tons of bone crunching muscles, man!!
KaunKaun.com - the only question in her life is ‘Kaun?’
Chuppa Rustom - for she rarely talks yet has all the inside information
I-Object - she has objection to everything that others have to say, always
Scavenger - scavenges for food from her friends plates, everyday.

This group is very popular in their office building (okay, atleast famous). They are omnipresent. Be it any occasion, any celebration, any party, Golden Gang would be present…..adding life and vitality to the events. Since they are spread all over the building (6 floors), they convene at their adda “E-Zone” managed by another Tapori, Saat Baj Gaya…..for emergency discussions or to just chilllll chilllll….

I see a bright future for this Golden Gang. Moti plans to start a Passport consultancy firm, Armstrong is the most versatile of the lot…she has so many degrees and diplomas that she is confused about her choice of career, KaunKaun.com is planning to make movies, starting with ‘Pehchan Kaun?’ (he he he), Chuppa Rustom will continue doing her present job (maybe till some ‘American from Bhayander’ sweeps her off her feet!!), I-object can run for elections since she will make very good opposition, objecting to every plan of the ruling party and scavenger plans to take up yoga for mind-control so that she can stop scavenging food from her friends plates :-)

Golden Gang rocks!!!! 3 Cheers to this gang of Taporis!!!

The Second Insight - "Conciousness"

The Second Insight extends our consciousness of historical time. It shows us how to observe culture not just from the perspective of our own life-times but from the perspective of a whole millennium. It reveals our preoccupation (to manipulate natural resources for our own benefit, to raise our standard of living, our sense of secular and economic security in the world) to us and so lifts us above it. When you see human world now, you should see this obsessiveness, the intense preoccupation with economic progress. The problem was that our focussed, obsessive drive to conquer nature and make ourselves more comfortable had left the natural systems of the planet polluted and on the verge of collapse.

Now, however, we have spent enough time settling into the world. It’s time now to wake up from the preoccupation and reconsider our original question. What’s behind life on this planet? Why are we really here?

Aren’t we responsible towards nature?…..how much can we exploit it, where does it stop? Do we give back what we take from nature? Aren’t we disturbing the balance by taking too much? At this rate, will this planet be an ideal habitat for our future generations? THINK!!!